Though the title of this post is “Boring”, I’m not going to bother you with a tedious documentation of my experiences this holiday season. Instead, I’m going to bring in the New Year by bidding farewell to an abused photographic trend of the early 00’s; the “girl-pretending-to-do-other-girl-from-behind” shot.
Shit is boring.
If luck is on my side, I might get to say goodbye to the (apparently unisex) “pursed lips” shot of more recent years soon. Hopefully.
I skimmed over a story about the corruption charges against Illinois governor Rod Blogojevich the other day and came across this gem of a courtroom sketch embedded in the article. I laughed pretty hard, thinking it resembled the style of a caricature artist on the boardwalks of the Jersey Shore. It looks like they edited the lower half of his body out, where he would have been wearing an obscenely sized pair of rollerblades with a papillon puppy in tow.
Then, it dawned on me that ALL courtroom sketches are hilarious.
So, here’s a list of some favorites I found, as long as you promise not to think I’m displaying a shred of give a fuck about these people. I’m about as knowledgeable about pop icons as your great aunt.
This is apparently Kevin Federline and Britney Spears. At first I was going to make a joke along the lines of “Oh, I didn’t know there was a Britney Spears anime.”…and then I found out there is a Britney Spears anime.
Another favorite.
R. Kelly watching as his formerly urine drenched victim cries on the witness stand. His facial expression is golden. No pun intended.
This is Nicole Ritchie. Not sure what she was on trial for. Don’t really care.
This is notable for looking like the cover of every “Fashionable girl drinking cosmopolitans in the big city meets millionaire dreamboat who buys her shoes forever and ever” novel in existence. Or like the blackbook of every aspiring fashion designer I’ve ever met. Minus the judge, who looks like a detailed version of a Doonesbury character.
This is a sketch from some Australian case. I guess everyone in Australia looks like a 1920s bodybuilder or sideshow lion tamer. This could also be the logo for one of those nautical themed products at the drug store that no one buys but your grandfather.
Do I even need to mention who this is?
Since the subject matter is already bizarrely ethereal and surreal in appearance, this may very well be the most photorealistic courtroom depiction in history.
Not sure what to think about Universal Mind Control.
Lots of good ideas, lots of poor execution.
Lots of experiment and almost no polish.
Lots of keyboards. Lots of me not liking keyboard focused hip hop.
Common doesn’t seem to happy with it himself and seems to feel his upcoming follow up to Finding Forever will be the one to look forward to. Makes me feel much better. Hopefully, the follow up will have better artwork than it’s predecessor did.
Well…the two shows I played in Albany this past weekend were stellar and I’ll try to get some pictures and video online soon. But this isn’t about that. This is about the time between all the four hours drives back and forth from New York that I dedicated to playing Mega Man 9 with my room mate. And yes, I’m well aware this makes me a nerd. Be prepared for more entries like this.
The most recent entry in the series decided to revert back to the gameplay and 8 bit graphics of the NES games…and apparently, they decided to make it stupid hard while they were at it. But…to call this game “hard” is an understatement. It was clearly designed from the perspective of “How close can we make this to impossible without crossing the line?” This game is SO fucking hard that my roommate and I had to leave the apartment with hopes that a little fresh air would deter us from putting the controller through the drywall. It’s not even difficult for difficulty’s sake; every challenge is designed to be very much possible, but requires a kind of precision usually reserved for jewel cutting and neurosurgery. This is the type of frustration that makes you invent new swear words, but for some reason you’ll keep coming back for another serving of delicious irritation.
Aside from bringing out your inner masochist, though, it succeeds in reminding you what it was like to be 7 years old with a brand new game again. You realize that your adolescent self could have run through this game easily, but now you’re in your twenties stamping around your living room because you can’t get a robot in blue underpants to jump over a pit of spikes. Hours of mind boggling frustration later, we’ve nearly completed the game and the jubilant high fives that have connected under this roof are only surpassed by those seen in Capri Sun commercials in the mid 90’s. Best ten dollars I’ve spent in a long time.
Moving sucks.
This move in particular, riddled with painting complications, huge boxes of heavy vinyl and 4 days of apartment repairs has been insane. Bob Villa would be proud. It isn’t a home yet, but the change of scenery is already having an effect on my mood and writing, which is the reason I did it in the first place. Although, we’re dumping a hell of a lot of effort into this place considering we only have a six month lease.
In addition to the craziness of changing habitat, I’ve got two shows this weekend in Albany, NY. But, I’m playing with some pretty stellar acts (Jared Paul, Oddy Gato, MC Graffiti etc.), so I’m pretty damn excited about these gigs. While this blog isn’t specifically for the promotion of my music, I thought it might be interesting to post the flyers for all the gigs I play as they come. After all, this thing is supposed to serve as a log.
