And I was pleased to find this compilation of the intros from the different seasons, if only because it reminds me that my life would be vastly improved if I achieved an erection every time I bit into a bell pepper. (1:58)
Does anyone know why Chairman Kaga (above) is the only one on the show not dubbed?
Or why they felt the need to write a completely fictional premise for the show?
Or why I actually believed that an eccentric millionaire in Japan decided to build a “kitchen stadium” in his “castle” so that the world’s best chefs could battle to the death?
January 8, 2009 at 6:56 pm
· Filed under Ambiguous, Video
What muse do my eyes behold?
A vision in pleather
O Jan Terri,
Take my feet for your sweeping.
Take me under your swan wings.
O Portly Siren,
I’m victim to your seductive bouquet
Of Aqua-Net and angelic melody.
Steal me.
And steal me again.
I’m not arrogant or ignorant enough to make a claim as broad as that. But the word “remix”, like “freestyle”, has long since lost the definition it carried in the golden days. Not to turn this into a backpacker rant, but I think it’s worth mentioning when the indie pop scene is putting together far more memorable remixes than the Hip Hop scene. Too many emcees not enough DJs syndrome, perhaps?
I’m not saying that good remixes don’t exist anymore; I just find myself hearing more and more “remixes” which consist of little more than an acapella haphazardly strewn across a lazily looped sample. They don’t add anything to the original song, nor do they provide a different interpretation of it. It’s just simply the same shit over a different beat. Maybe I’m bitter because I grew up on a bunch of remixes that were either new songs onto themselves or versions that were vastly superior to the originals. Or maybe it’s because I’m lucky to know a few producers who consistently pour their hearts into their remixes.
While it’s by no means a comprehensive list, here’s a list of some notable remixes:
Eric B. & Rakim - Paid in Full (Coldcut Remix)
Coldcut took an already classic track, flipped it up, laced it with a dope vocal sample from Israeli singer Ofra Haza and made lightning strike twice. I was exposed to this one through a local skate video which I would love to dig up, if only because it features someone riding a washing machine attached to a skateboard down a staircase.
The Pharcyde - She Said (Amsterdam Remix)
The original track was way too clean and never really sat well with me. Enter Dilla. He gives the Pharcyde the gritty jazz backdrop that they work best over and suddenly the chorus is enjoyable and one of Fatlip’s smoothest verses gets the proper shine. You know a remix is dope when it warrants another music video for a song that already has one.
(Notable Mention: “Soul Flower (Remix)” from Bizzare Ride II actually DOES have an original. Weird case where the remix is the most well known version because the original is on an obscure record. It was featured on British acid-jazz band the Brand New Heavies album and if you can find it, I highly suggest it.)
A Tribe Called Quest - Scenario (LONS remix)
Good luck going to a battle without hearing this beat come on once. This is a great example of a remix that has shares almost nothing in common with the original, aside from being another collaboration between Leaders of the New School and Tribe. Both tracks are classic, both are different. It’s tough to even call this one a remix, but I’ll be damned if it’s not making this short list.
Black Sheep - The Choice Is Yours (Revisited)
A week ago, I scored about twenty classic hip hop cassette tapes at the local thrift store. “A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing” was in that mother lode and while trying to teach myself how to fast forward and rewind through tapes with the same precision that I had in the 90s, I stumbled across the original version of this song. I forgot that it even existed. It’s a much clunkier version of the song above, and doesn’t include have the “Engine, Engine Number 9…” verse. So, this is a prime example of a remix that became the definitive version.
Public Enemy - Shut Em Down (Pete Rock Remix)
No clue why I can’t find anything other than the instrumental version on Youtube, but this is essential.
November 28, 2008 at 12:16 am
· Filed under Television, Video
…for various reasons. Five in particular…
1. “Don’t worry bro, just because she’s into things like politics doesn’t mean you can’t bang her! Just throw some bullshit around to get her back to your apartment. Remember, get your rocks off by any means possible!”
2. What’s the backup plan for when she realizes he doesn’t even have a blog?
3. Since when do people blog together?
4. I’m sick of advertising campaigns cobbled together by technologically challenged 40+ year olds who seem to think that tacking on the words “blog”, “text message” or throwing a lower case “i” before a product name will engage the thirty and younger demographic. Doesn’t even matter if it pertains to the product itself; it’s the year two thousand, man!
5. This also applies to “green” ads that have beaten the Apple commercial template to death. Scene: Speaker standing center stage against a hyper-minimalist white backdrop, discussing how their multi-billion dollar corporation is saving the planet because they gave some bread to wind energy while a melodramatic, cookie-cutter indie rock tune is swelling with synths. Finish with logo against white backdrop.
Dumping shit in the ocean? No sweat.
Throw a Postal Service substitute on the decks and clear the record! We’re going green!
